Junya herds cats or Junya's Pocketful of Miracles

While chopping twigs at his hogfarm ranchette in Crawford, Junya took time out for a Iraq stratergy session with the former Secretary of State during the Nixon years.


Junya: Howya doing there Hanky-boy? May ah call ya that?

Henry The K: Vell Mr. Preznit, I actually prefer...

Junya: Good, good! Park yer porkchops down on that stool right here next to mah desk.

Henry The K: Porkchops? I've never...Vell perhaps...ooof. Ahmmm...much obliged for the hand, Mr. Preznit.

Junya: Can ya see alright there Hanky-boy? Here, let me move mah crayon sharpner. There ya go.

Henry The K: Let me try to vind my glasses. They are somewhere here under your desk, Mr. Preznit.

Junya: That's alright Hanky-boy. Ah can see ya just fine without 'em. So, what do ya think ah should do?

Henry The K: Vell Mr. Preznit, ve can't let the North Vietnamese vin...I mean, the terrorists vin in Iran...I mean, in Iraq. Ve vould then have Dominoes.

Junya: And we're rootin' for Pizza Hut! Ah got ya! Ahm with ya the whole way Hanky-boy!

Henry The K: No, no Mr. Preznit. Dominoes are like...ahmmm...Chinese checkers.

Junya: Ah could nevah figure out how to play checkers. Guess that's why I like Pizza Hut.

Henry The K: No, no Mr. Preznit...ahmmm...other countries might fall. The next vun might be Laos...I mean, Saudi Arabia.

Junya: Now I gotcha. We gotta fight them over there before we fight them at Pizza Hut here. It's our pepperoni or the highway.

Henry The K: Vell...ahmmm...the Viet Cong...ahmmm...I mean, the terrorists probably don't eat pepperoni, but I'm glad you agree ve should escalate...ahmmm...I mean, vind a vay forward.

Junya: Well, that's settled then Hanky-boy. Say there, howdy Laura Belle!

Laura Belle: Howdy y'all! Ah hope ya can stay for vittles.

Henry The K: Vell, if you insist Mrs. Preznit.

Junya: Did ah tell ya ahm going to be doing a new kinda ranching here?

Henry The K: Vell, no Mr. Preznit.

Junya: Yup! Ah kept gettin' complaints from the neighbors 20 miles downwind about my prize pigs, so ahm gonna do something unique that no one else has ever done.

Henry The K: Vhat's that Mr. Preznit?

Junya: Ahm gonna herd me some cats!

Henry The K: Cat herds Mr. Preznit?

Junya: Yup! They say ya can't do it, but ahm just the honcho who can. Matter of fact, here's some of them cats now. Here, kitty-kitty. Nice kitty-kitty!

Laura Belle: Junya, lawd have mercy! Them ain't kittie-cats! Them are polecats!

Junya: Laura Belle, Sugarbun, cats is cats! You just watch, ah'll herd 'em!

Henry The K: Whew...cough, cough, vell, I like the white stripes Mr. Preznit.

Laura Belle: Don't you boys shoot the breeze too long 'cause the grub will get cold.

Junya: What did you rustle up for supper, Laura Belle?

Laura Belle: Ah made bean burritos, baked beans, lima beans and bean muffins. And all the 3 bean coffee ya can drink.

Junya: Oh my, I'm gonna be floatin' on air! What's for dessert, Sugarbun?

Laura Belle: I baked ya a special treat. Your favorite, Tumbleweed pie.

Junya: My oh my. Did ya hear that Hanky-boy? Laura Belle's right proud of her Tumbleweed pie. She caught and skinned it her own self.

Henry The K: Tumbleweed pie? Vell, if you insist Mr. Preznit.


And so that was how Junya came up with his new stratergy for herding cats...ahmmm...winning in Iraq.